Episode 306:
Early Christianity Is Actually Kind Of Interesting

Transcript!

PDF transcript. Also available via our Buzzsprout page.

Shownotes
(because citations are political)

Today’s episode is the first of a pair centered on early Christianity, because in our next episode, Dr. Shaily Patel is coming to school us. This one sets up all the issues: we talk about how texts are multiple and contested; how early Jesus-people weren’t yet Christians and how they became Christians; how Christianity’s spread really is tied to—you guessed it—empires, right from the jump. Next time, Dr. Patel will do it with a whole new & in process book’s worth of receipts.

The thesis of this episode was three-pronged, like a trident (or a shrimp fork) and all was to prove: Christianity! It’s complicated. And early Christianity is both complicated and actually kind of interesting because…

  1. Christianity was kind of an accident

  2. The New Testament is a messy bitch who lives for drama

  3. Christianity is rooted in imperialism. 

As a reminder, this mini-arc looks like this:

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(E306) Early Christianity Is Actually Kind of Interesting
24 March 2021

No, seriously, it is. We’ll prove it to you. Because you’ll need it for our next episode.



(E307) Was Jesus a Wizard? with Dr. Shaily Patel
7 April 2021

Neither of us are professionally or confessionally equipped to answer this question, so we’re bringing in Prof. Shaily Patel, Assistant Professor of Early Christianity at Virginia Tech and baller scholar of magic & religion.

The 101:

(where we did the professor-work)

Let’s get into that shrimp fork thesis, shall we?

  1. Christianity was kind of an accident

We have evidence that Jesus gets born, that we rearrange how we mark time because of it (much later, though), he caused something of a ruckus during his lifetime by insisting we value the lives of human beings and was executed by the state. 

Here’s what he did not do: start a new religion. At least not on purpose.

The stories we have about Jesus were all written down long after his death—decades, and almost a century in some cases. But what we do have suggests that he was trying to fix existing systems, not start something completely new. Christianity doesn’t become a thing until after Jesus’ death.

Early Jesus people became what I (and a number of other scholars) might refer to as an apocalyptic new religious movement. The apocalyptic part is important: early Jesus people--not Christians, because there’s no such thing yet--were expecting Jesus to return and the world to end in their lifetimes.

2. The New Testament is a messy bitch who lives for drama

(Ilyse kindly reminds you that all snark, evil, and complaints for this episode are to be directed at one Megan P. Goodwin, Ph.D.)

We talk about “the Bible” or “the New Testament” like it’s one book—like Jesus just sat down, caffeinated up, and wrote the whole thing in one sitting. But that is not correct, for a number of reasons.

The so-called “New Testament” is a collection of books that Jesus people tacked onto the Hebrew Bible, which they dibsed. So in addition to sacred histories and poetry borrowed from the Jews, the Christian Bible includes:

  • Gospels: four accounts of the life and times of Jesus

    • These were written down decades after Jesus died 

      • Mark’s probably the earliest and even that probably wasn’t recorded until 70 CE; but all of them were revised a bunch of times and sometimes well into the second century.

      • Matthew and Luke borrow from Mark, but they don’t totally agree on everything Jesus did and said, and John has entirely his own thing going on.

    • These weren’t the only gospels! The New Testament wasn’t finalized until about the fifth century CE. There are a bunch of books, known as apocrypha, that were once considered scripture by some Jesus people but got left out of what became the Christian canon, or official collection of sacred texts.

  • Acts of the Apostles: which is about what Jesus’ best bros did after he died and came back

  • Epistles: letters from Jesus’ chattiest follower, Paul, to all the communities he travelled around setting up (because…imperialism). 


AND, all Christians don’t even agree on what is and isn’t part of the official Bible. Catholics include books that Protestants leave out (and also their commandments are in different order!). Mormons have a whole third testament, the Book of Mormon. We told you it was complicated! We told you the New Testament is a messy bitch who lives for drama!

3. Christianity is all tied up with imperialism.

We’ve talked about the impetus to convert everyone—to spread the good word—that not only exists in text but becomes a hallmark of Christian communities (across denominations, eras, regions, and languages). In this episode, though, we’re thinking early Christianity, so we’re talking Constantine.

Despite Jesus-people doing their thing and establishing communities with new and other Jesus-people, Christianity doesn’t really become A Thing until a Roman emperor, Constantine, puts imperialism together with Jesus and starts giving subjects who convert preferential treatment throughout the Roman empire. By the end of the fourth century CE, Christianity is the Roman empire’s official religion and the rest is, uh, history.

In fact, the legend/history/story is inherently tied to imperialism beyond the obvious religion-of-the-empire ways. The story goes that Constantine was trying to figure out which was the right religion on the eve of a big battle. He calls on the Christian god, sees a cross on the sun and: In Hoc Signo Vinces (in this sign, conquer), puts the greek letters Chi Ro (for Christ) on his battle standards, and wins. BIG IMPERIALISM VIBES.

Under the Roman Empire, Christianity has spread throughout the ancient Mediterranean world, through what’s now much of eastern Europe and North Africa as well as the Middle East. Christianity even makes it to India by this point. So yeah, Christianity is—as we’ve been yelling about—imperialism, both in its theological imperative to “make disciples of all nations,” and in its political alliance with one of the most powerful empires in history. 

Story Time!

(the segment where we cite major works, scholars, & ideas in the study of religion)

In this episode’s story time, Megan went off book, and cited a play! A PLAY! instead of theory. She is also a messy bitch who lives for drama.

waiting-for-godot.jpg

This Story Time is from 20th century Irish writer Samuel Beckett’s play, Waiting For Godot, in which two characters, Vladimir and Estragon, spend the entire play waiting for a dude to show up. Spoilers: he does not show up. But that doesn’t stop them from waiting or both allegorically and directly talking about Bible stuff.

VLADIMIR: “Do you remember the Gospels? Ah yes, the two thieves. Do you remember the story? Two thieves, crucified at the same time as our Saviour. Two thieves. One is supposed to have been saved and the other . . . (he searches for the contrary of saved) . . . damned. And yet . . . (pause) . . . how is it that of the four Evangelists only one speaks of a thief being saved. The four of them were there –or thereabouts– and only one speaks of a thief being saved. One out of four. Of the other three, two don't mention any thieves at all and the third says that both of them abused him. But one of the four says that one of the two was saved. 


ESTRAGON: Well? They don't agree and that's all there is to it. 


VLADIMIR: But all four were there. And only one speaks of a thief being saved. Why believe him rather than the others? 


ESTRAGON: Who believes him? 


VLADIMIR: Everybody. It's the only version they know.”

Megan and Ilyse unpacked this, talking about Biblical literalism in a text that has so many contradictions, about how Biblical literacy is assumed in places like high school courses and curriculum, about how Bible reading—as a cultural norm—is so intertwined with how these characters imagine life and its meanings.

Primary Sources!

(the segment where we talk about how the episode’s themes affect us, as humans, because the “I” matters)

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Ilyse talked about Luz Church in Chennai. And Jesus Puja. When she first visited when at 20, and did this curious kid abroad slash neoOrientalist stuff, she went to this Church and did a “mass,” and learned about assimilated practices.

Megan talked about how Christianity sticks and doesn’t in her post-Catholic life, and it wove from being in North Carolina (where Protestants insisted that Catholics were not, in fact, Christian), to liberation theology and social justice movements rooted in Christianity, to how the mainstream narrative of Christianity is rooted in whiteness and, often, a conservatism that is damaging.


What does all this have to do with Prof. Patel’s work and her appearance on the next episode?

We have Dr Patel on because she teaches courses in New Testament, Christian apocryphal texts, orthodoxy and heresy, and demonology and exorcism. How rad does all that sound? How … not what you think when you think about Christianity does that sound? How NECESSARY does it sound to tell our nerds all about it!?!?

We had such a blast talking to Dr. Patel about her work. We can’t wait to share that conversation with you. And hopefully we gave you enough background so that if you don’t know a lot about early Christianity, you can still get a sense of why her research is interesting and important.

Homework!

(that’s right, nerds, there’s always more to learn)

Megan suggests:

IRMF suggests: 

Curious about Dr. Shaily Patel’s work? We got you.

early Christianity is actually kinda interesting, huh?